Silence

Well.. It's been a month. A month of class. A month of living on my own. And a month of silence.

I originally thought that I was moving closer to campus to be closer to friends. (or to make new friends). I thought I wanted to be around people and be accepted by people and that that meant living on my own. Since moving to Sioux Center. I've realized that I spend a lot of time just being alone. Sitting in my apartment in the quiet. Doing nothing but homework. Oh, sometimes I will spend some time listening to music or watching TV, but even that is rare. I find that I spend so much time reading text books and studying and writing papers that I really don't have time for much else.

I've learned to appreciate the silence and can even say that I love when it's quiet. It gives me time to think. to question things. It also gives me time to listen.

I know - weird right - listen? Listen to what? Listen to the silence. I find that when its quiet and I'm just laying on the bed or sitting on the couch, I hear things. Not like I'm crazy and see people that aren't there - although sometimes I question that too. But I hear things like "You're beautiful the way you're created." "I love you." and "Don't forget about me."

I feel like for a long time I spent a lot of time ignoring those voices. The ones that remind me that I am a child of God and that I have a life in him. Yeah, life here is crazy. I've been through a lot. But I didn't take the time to listen, and realize that whatever I'm going through, God is right there. I just need to seek him out. Praise him in the storm, and listen in the silence. Because His voice is a silent roar, and a constant reminder that I am not alone.