So if it weren't for my friend, I would probably forget this thing existed. However he encouraged me to write it all down and let it all out so here goes!
Today was one of those days. You know the lazy, I'm down feeling kinda days where you just don't really want to get up and do anything. The kind of day that makes you just want to cry and you really have no idea why. It wasn't so much that it was a bad day - it was more that I was stressed and tired and had been working too much to even want to pretend I could function.
We've been working in my brothers house and trying to get it ready for him and his future wife to be able to move in after the wedding. It's only a month away!!! CRAZY! I'm so excited for them and it's been a lot of fun to finally get to spend some time with my siblings. I kinda miss talking to them and just hanging out with people. People who understand me and care about my feelings and what I'm going through. It's great to know that people love and care for you!
This week made me laugh, cry, angry, frustrated, sad.. I probably felt every emotion possible this week. There are so many changes happening and I really just wish that some of them wouldn't happen quite so fast! I miss being little and not having to care. But today I sat down at the table and paid all my bills and realized just how grown up I have to be.... and honestly, I'm scared. I don't want to move on and accept the next stage in my life - you know the part of life where you become and adult, live on your own, graduate from college, and have to pay for EVERYTHING by yourself. As excited as I am to move away and start a new chapter, I'm terrified because I hate change.
But in everything that happens I know that there is a plan, a reason, and a time for everything! Nothing happens by chance and whatever does happen is only going to make me stronger. And there are times that I'm going to be down and be mad about things - but those are the times that make you trust and rely just a little bit more. Because in reality that is the only thing that is sure in life.The ever present love of God - because he never lets go. So when all else fails I will just remember that when I feel like I can't go anymore - I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
